If you want to start a dialogue with your partner about sex but are afraid or confused about how to get started, here’s a bit of homework to help you out.

This assignment is meant to initiate a discussion about how you define closeness, what you like/dislike and if there’s potential to explore new sexual experiences in the future.

Be honest as you answer the questions. And if you find yourself frustrated, anxious or fearful, keep in mind that a sex therapy session could help.

If both partners are willing to participate, print two copies of the assignment, complete the questions and discuss. See if your answers could help enhance your relationship. Perhaps you add some intimacy, start encouraging feedback and suggest a few new loving tips.

I define sex as:

I define intimacy as:

In a perfect world, I would like our sex / intimacy life to look like:

My favorite date with you was when:

To help get me in the mood, I would really like you to:

I prefer to initiate sex / be pursued by you (please circle one)

I’m really self-conscious about:

I really like it when you touch me softly / with nails / like a deep tissue massage (please circle one)

I like / don’t like to be sexually teased (please circle one)

I’ve always wanted to tell you:

My favorite body part to be stimulated:

The best thing you do for me in bed:

Something I really don’t sexually like:

One thing I’d like to try in the bedroom:

A sexual fantasy I have:

I would be interested in using a textured condom / lubricant / arousal device / sexy movie / none of these (please circle one)

In the future, I would really like to: